Day 4

Still no test scheduled.  It’s kind of like time is standing still.  Which is preferable to getting bad news, I guess.  But I hope I hear from the doctor tomorrow about scheduling a test to find out what the nature of my collarbone extra is.

I’m now taking a double dose of niacin, vitamin C, vitamin B-something-or-other, and chugging apple cider vinegar once a day.  Because, you know, I’ll cure myself in a few days if it’s bad news.  The internet says so.

I also read about stress causing cancer, and it the information made so much sense to me and came across as very medically sound, and then an hour into it saw a casual reference to a piece of information’s source being God Almighty.  In quotes — direct language from God.  So.  It still seems like solid advice and plausible information.  Starts with unexpressed grief or other negative emotion, the body is stiff and tight all the time (yes), sleep is difficult to get in sufficient duration and depth for melatonin production, which is healing, blah blah.  See for yourself, here: for example, in 1983 God came up with the idea that APPLE CIDER VINEGAR CAN BRING INTO REMISSION THE CANCER FUNGUS.  Go ahead and see — he’s directly quoted.  So, that seems silly; right?  But you can’t argue that 12 STEP CANCER SURVIVOR PROGRAM seems like it would pretty much make anyone’s life way better, whether they had cancer or not.  So, why not?  The silver lining, at minimum, is that you’d be very much at peace when you die, versus stressed out and sad.  At best?  Heck, maybe it would work and give you more time.

I wondered tonight how it works if you die with a mortgage and no savings.  I need to find out about any life insurance policies I have out there.  Ideally, life insurance could pay off my house, and I’d leave my house to Dawn or Justin.  I don’t think Justin would really want it, so probably Dawn.

I still don’t know about my animals.

Oh, this is a good one: Tonight during my bath I realized with a shock that I’m not frail and thin.  Ha ha ha!  Eating perfectly healthy the past week, and then “probably having cancer,” I started to feel like a chemo patient, I guess!  All tiny and frail.  Nope, stomach rolls all in place. 😉

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